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Bad Advice

The internet if full of vacuous and inane listicles and advice columns telling readers the do’s and don’ts of this, that and the other. To bring some balance to that, we offer a dysfunctional warped, puerile and perverse version of this same advice.
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5 things you need to know before you get back with your ex

July 22, 2016August 15, 2016 webmaster Leave a comment

1) Has he finished his course of antibiotics for his chlamydia? Obviously you found out the hard way that “what happens in Vegas” doesn’t always stay in Vegas. Obviously you found out the hard way that “what happens in Vegas” doesn’t always stay in Vegas.

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Saying Your Dog Is Your “Baby” Is an Insult to Dogs Everywhere

July 21, 2016July 21, 2016 webmaster Leave a comment

If I could, I would be more than happy to drop my kids at a kind of “kid pound” but last time I Googled it those things haven’t been invented yet

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Yes, I am a helicopter mum, but did I mention I am an Apache Helicopter loaded with hellfire missiles?

February 11, 2016 webmaster Leave a comment

So, yes, I interfere. Yes, I control what happens to my daughter.The fact is I am a patriot. I do what our governments have been doing for years: exactly what I want, using violence and bribery to ensure I get all I want for my Poppy

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6 Things You Learn at Wine Camp

January 29, 2016August 15, 2016 webmaster Leave a comment

Eventually you got to—or were getting to—the point where you choose consciously to join the category of pretentious windbags. With that aim in mind, I recently attended grape camp in Sonoma, California

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Why my child winning the “Most Annoying Child Noise-Maker of the Year” award made me feel like a proud parent.

January 28, 2016August 15, 2016 webmaster Leave a comment

Let’s face it, our kids are cute and lovable bundles of joy sometimes, mostly when they are asleep or staying at Grandma’s. Yet most of the time they are just plain annoying, are you with me?

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What’s the best way for female celebrity role models to say to the world, “I am sexually available, but also childlike”?

January 25, 2016 webmaster Leave a comment

For any young women to be successful in celebrity consumer culture it is a given they must be sexy, and nothing says sexy like the finger-in-mouth look (AKA “I’m a confused little girl who is also sexually curious”) that female pops stars seem to perfect.

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Why bringing your smart phone to the swings to watch your kids play is good parenting

January 16, 2016January 16, 2016 webmaster Leave a comment

watching my five-year-old daughter Poppy play on the swings, monkey bars, or whatever you call those kiddie contraptions is one of the most boring events you will to pretend to enjoy as a parent.

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How to Keep the Flame of Fake Love Alive in your Marriage

January 13, 2016August 15, 2016 webmaster Leave a comment

Being married or in a long-term relationship is a blessing and a curse. But often, and for many, it’s a curse. A dreary and soul crushing curse that sucks the life force from you one day at a time.

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3 ways to remind yourself you’re a terrible parent

January 12, 2016February 7, 2016 webmaster Leave a comment

So if you don’t already think you doing a bad job as a parent, it’s because you’re probably in denial. Yet, if on some rare occasion you start to feel good about the obvious “bad” job you’re doing of being a parent, here are 3 sure-fire ways to ensure you bring yourself down a peg or three in the fantastic parents stakes.

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Temporary pox tattoos are the latest way to jazz up your face

January 8, 2016August 15, 2016 webmaster Leave a comment

We’ll admit it: We’ve wanted chickenpox ever since that one cool girl showed up after the summer holidays with a fresh tan and perfectly septic skin.

And now, finally, we can fulfil our chickenpox-faced dream.

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5 things you need to know before you get back with your ex

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