The worst 26 gifts to give your girlfriend or wife.

It's only fair to share...Share on Facebook
Facebook
Tweet about this on Twitter
Twitter
Share on LinkedIn
Linkedin
  1. girffgitgraphic BAWeekend in Paris… with your mum.
  2. All-access weekend pass for the colossus monster truck derby.
  3. Subscription to Sky Sports.
  4. 5 “sex vouchers” that will allow your wife or girlfriend to give you oral sex 5 times. (How lucky she is!)
  5. Swingers’ party invitation.
  6. Voucher for her to have 5 kgs of fat removed via liposuction.
  7. Herpes.
  8. Clothes that don’t fit, that she would never wear anyway, and you forgot to keep the receipt.
  9. Magical beans that you exchanged for the money you were going to spend on a weekend spa for her.
  10. Nothing.
  11. Your old iPad.
  12. A break-up letter, after you ate 3 slices of her birthday cake.
  13. Not what she has been hinting about for weeks.
  14. An expensive but hideous sculpture from an unknown artist. (If they get famous that could be worth a mint!)
  15. Supplies for knitting and darning your socks.
  16. Dishwasher or pretty much any white good, excluding an ice cream machine.
  17. A love poem which turns out to be plagiarised lyrics from a Bon Jovi song.
  18. Hilarious Hallmark card about getting old, with something along the lines of why sultanas are better than grapes.
  19. Ab Sculptor 2000, second-hand from eBay.
  20. A meal at any dining establishment advertising “ALL YOU CAN EAT” or “HALF PRICE TUESDAY” (even though her birthday was on Sunday).
  21. Front row seats at the annual Tory/LNP/Republican conference.
  22. Flat screen TV for the toilet.
  23. The book “The Myth of Monogamy.”
  24. His and Hers matching Snuggie Up™ Bathing Suit
  25. (or pretty much his and hers anything, and yes, Snuggies are that disturbing).
  26. Invitation to a meditation session with the cult you seem to be getting sucked into.
  27. A tattoo covering your whole back with her name misspelt.

(Visited 74 times, 1 visits today)
It's only fair to share...Share on Facebook
Facebook
Tweet about this on Twitter
Twitter
Share on LinkedIn
Linkedin

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.