- Straight up, maybe on the second date, see if you can borrow some money from him. You may have to put out to seal the deal, but you would have put out anyway, so this way you at least get some cold, hard cash. Now that you owe him some money, start avoiding him, not returning calls, block him from Facebook, etc., and do this the very next day. As his feeling of being scammed gets harder to deny, he will chase after you with force you could only dream about.
- Don’t be afraid to tell him that other guys hit on you, and even though it’s a lie, tell him you have slept with at least 100 guys, age range 18 to 80, and you also have this thing about banging dwarfs. Men love a woman with experience. Hit on his friends, in particular the friend who has the girlfriend whose warmth and beauty you feel threatened by. Give said friend a hand-job in the toilet. His friend will brag about how awesome your wrist action was, and he will totally run after you.
- In the taxi on the way home from your first date, change your relationship status on Facebook to “in a relationship.” Men love women who aren’t afraid to commit. Photoshop a picture of him and you, put them together in some type of heart-shaped image, and make it your profile picture. Make sure he can see the book you are reading is “Choosing Baby Names.” Call him “my boo.” Send aggressive and intimidating messages to any female Facebook friends that are slightly attractive, telling them to back off because he is yours (yes, this includes his sister and mother). Mention something about ending them. All this will make him so into you he will even get the police to visit your house to tell you.
- Let him know your ex will soon be released from prison. It’s powerful for a guy to know your ex has violent and sociopathic tendencies, but be indirect. Say, “My friend is up for parole, and he is kind of into me and firearms. If you get a dead rat in the mail, it’s cool. It’s just his weird sense of humour.” You’ll get his attention, stat.
- Don’t make him the main event until he’s earned it. Actually, just never make him the main event, period. Your Friday and Saturday nights are sacred “me and the gals” time. When a new guy asks for a prime-time date early on, spit in his face and tell him to go fuck himself. After you treated him so badly and he still runs after you, you know you have keeper. With such low self-esteem and obvious mummy issues, he’s definitely the kind of guy you can string along until you find something better.
*More useful methods for tip 3.Guy reads that and he thinks “Wow, she is a keeper.” That’s right, run bro, run into her arms or machete depending.
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